The Poem was Damien's final thought for the Kazaam episode. It is as follows.

Shaq Shaq

You're very tall, this is a fact

You can dunk a basketball

But no, you can not act

Shaq Shaq

What the fuck was that?

There was a boombox and some wishes

And some shitty rhymes you spat

Shaq Shaq

I was bleeding from the ear

What was in that boombox anyway

Nic Cage's career?

Shaq Shaq

What secrets do you hold?

The urge to slit my wrists was strong

As I watched this movie unfold

Shaq Shaq

What else could I do?

90 minute run time

And only one joke about Shaq-Fu

Shaq Shaq

You're tearing me apart!

I can't decide if I just saw a movie

Or some perverse abstract art

Shaq Shaq

I know you were in Steel

But I have enough mental scarring from this movie

And that may never heal

Shaq Shaq

Kazaam was really fucking wack

Why couldn't you have been in a more respectable film

Like 3 Ninjas Kick Back

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