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ShiaLeBeouf

Sam Witwicky is the main protagonist? in the 2007 Michael Bay film, Transformers, and its first two sequels, Revenge of the Fallen, and Dark of the Moon.  He is played by Shia LeBeouf.

Facts

  • Is quite possibly the most unlikeable main character since Max Connor
  • Is apparently invincible, given how many times he gets smacked around by giant alien robots
  • It's cool, though, because he FUCKING KILLS MEGATRON
  • Despite killing Megatron, is still a spineless little bitch who can't say "no" to anyone
  • Clearly is not a subscriber to the "bros before hos" philosophy
  • Is a fucking walking pile of sad
  • In response to receiving a B- on his class project (which was way higher than he had any right to get), asks his teacher, "What would Jesus do???"
  • Has no issue cheating on his girlfriend
  • Is a walking pile of worry
  • Dies and goes to Robot Heaven
  • It's cool, though, because the Ancient Primes revive him in like a minute and a half
  • Goes to job interviews and acts like a complete fuckhead (which is pretty much how he always acts)
  • Kills Starscream
  • Thinks it would be a brilliant idea to run into the ruins of Chicago, which is swarming with Decepticons, just to get his (new) girlfriend out
  • Despite being made out to be Transformer Jesus for three fucking movies, is never even mentioned in the fourth movie
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