Goad is a "character" (in the loosest sense of the word) in the 1997 film, The Apocalypse. She is played by Laura San Giacomo.
Facts[]
- Was a crazy computer programmer that decided to just pack a ship full of a highly unstable material and kill off its original crew out in the middle of space
- Why? Beats the fuck out of us.
- Her every appearance in the movie is in video recordings that were clearly filmed and added in after everything else in the movie had already been recorded
- You can tell this because one character uses male pronouns when mumbling about her
- Worse, most of these are the same four or five recordings repeated over and over and over again just to fill up the run time
- Speaks in literally nothing but Shakespeare quotes, which offends James to no end
- Also made Shakespeare quote fill-in-the-blank puzzles for anyone who wanted to try to stop her program from crashing this ship into the Earth, where it would apparently destroy it
- In terms of difficulty, these puzzles range anywhere between a 12-piece jigsaw puzzle and single-digit addition problems
- Also programmed a specific Shakespeare quote that would activate when the program somehow determines that the crew made a noble sacrifice in order to save Earth.......I guess?????
- Also, we're still not sure why she wanted to blow up the Earth, especially considering that the ship was left to rot out in space and there was no guarantee it would ever be found, let alone by Earthlings
- Wait, why the fuck am I even trying to make sense out of anything in this piece of shit?
- Even after watching it, Damien didn't actually even understand that she was the villain of the movie until reading this page