This page is for documenting the many battles that have taken place in the Tiradesverse. They are not necessarily fights from Tiradesverse movies, but rather conflicts that have been waged between the forces of good and evil.
Notable Battles[]
ca. 1500 B.C.E. - Somewhere in ancient Egypt, Bastet vindictively creates the Catwoman persona after a lengthy game of Monopoly with the pharaoh in which she lost by landing on Boardwalk with a hotel. In response, over in the Arabian Peninsula, Kazaam is born and granted genie powers (allegedly by Octon).
1992 - After winning nine tournaments against Outworld, The Ultimate Warrior was challenged by Jigsaw's voodoo apprentice Papa Shango. During their struggle, a curse was placed upon Warrior that resulted in ooze dripping from his head and violent projectile vomiting. Though they had several encounters in the Heavyweight Division, their final battle was said to have taken place in the middle of a desert, spectated only by a circle of vultures. After battling for over 36 hours, the Warrior was able to bury Shango beneath the dirt with a mighty press slam, seemingly closing the portal to Outworld forever. Warrior was so fatigued from the battle that he remained in the desert and yelled at the sun for the next five years.
1994 - Damien had a fistfight with a kid inside a moon-bounce. The scuffle may or may not have been over a Sega Game Gear.
1996 - Shaquille O'Neal and Charles Barkley had various encounters this year. It appears that they were fighting over a strange relic referred to only as "the rock". The exact function of this object is unknown, though both men were overheard commanding colleagues of theirs to pass it to them frequently. Though there were many casualties, their conflict appears to have ended in a draw, as both Shaq Fu and Charles in Charge proved to be comparable fighting styles.
1998 - Mr. Rogers had a knife fight versus seventeen wavy tube men. No bullshit. Look it up.
1999 - Bonesaw beat the ever loving dogfuck out of Dennis Rodman and then threw him into into a portable toilet. It appears that this encounter was the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding, as Bonesaw was duped by Tony Todd into purchasing a VHS copy of the movie Steel for $47.95. When searching for the basketball player responsible for his justifiable rage, he simply grabbed the wrong member of the Lakers team. Strangely, no one demanded an apology from him. Later that year, One-Man Gang and Abdullah the Butcher fought in one of the sloppiest (in both the literal and figurative sense) battles in recorded history. The fight seemed to stem from the Gang getting hepatitis from Abdullah after being stabbed with an olive fork. This fight caused the creation of the bloodstained manila folder.
2005 - Nicolas Cage had an unfortunate accident which involved him stepping forward and getting hit in the head with a rake repeatedly as he tried to leave his yard. He then went on to accept the lead role in The Wicker Man.
2010 - Terry Crews punches Peter in the face for daring to besmirch Old Spice Odor Blocker Body Wash.
2011 - Somewhere in Outworld, Reptile and Freddy had a fight revolving around an issue of Maxim magazine that Freddy had borrowed. In what holds the record for fastest fight in the Tiradesverse, Reptile burned him with his acid spit and Freddy was never seen again. In the post-fight interview, Reptile was reported as saying he had plenty of spare magazines, he "just wanted an excuse to kill that douchenozzle".
2013 - The only physical encounter ever between James and Damien took place. Damien threw James through a plate glass window, a coffee table, and broke several pool cues over his head before duct-taping him to a chair and forcing him to watch and review The Last Airbender.
