Glitter is a 2001 musical/romance/drama film starring Mariah Carey and Max Beesley.
It is notable for helping derail Mariah Carey's then-superstar singing career for several years, as well as for being her first and last attempt at being a top billed fim actress. Both for good reason...
It is also notable for having a huge list of subplots that should have happened, but didn't.
Plot[]
Your stock standard "girl with talent has a rough childhood, but grows up to become instantly famous and has a turbulent relationship with a bad boy" story. Seriously, there is literally nothing more to this movie than that.
Notable characters[]
The Episode[]
- This episode is the second to cover a movie in the Tiradesverse with Da Brat in it
- It is also the second to cover a romance-genre movie (the first was Twilight)
Scores[]
James - Amateur
Damien - Question
Highlights[]
- Damien's ongoing list of "plotlines that didn't happen"
- Damien shows how deep his knowledge of 80's and 90's pop and R&B music is
- How the fuck does the Sylk character have a career???
- Dice seduces Billie with a fucking MARIMBA
- The "shit button"--the button that takes all the shit out of any song automatically
- Why would a record exec ever be in a studio?
- The Yamaha keyboard ruins the Casio Keyboard jokes
- Child custody laws apparently don't exist in this movie
- Jim Damien??? WHO IS FUCKING WITH US?!
- Dice looks douchier than The Miz, Johnny Cage and all of Maroon 5 combined
- Billie has an immortal cat, apparently
- Billie and Dice somehow psychically write the same exact song
- Walker is the worst loan shark ever
- Damien's Sport Feedback Extravaganza
References[]
- Mystery Science Theater 3000
- A Talking Cat
- Godzilla
- The Room
- Birdemic
- Transformers
- Revenge of the Fallen
- Dark of the Moon
- The Last Airbender
- Highlander 2
- The Nutcracker in 3D
- Electronic Gaming Monthly
- Torque
- Troll 2
- Heroes of Wrestling
- Shia LeBouf
- Mariah Carey
- Catwoman
- Kazaam
- Raven's Flock (WCW)
- Kurt Cobain
- The Offspring
- Dr. Gordon
- Saw
- The Talking Heads
- The Last Airbender
- Blondie
- The Clash
- Michael Jackson
- Styx
- Donna Summer
- David Bowie
- Irene Cera
- Loverboy (band)
- Boy George
- Culture Club
- GTA: Vice City
- Dexie's Midnight Runners
- Billie Piper
- Pierce Brosnan
- Jermaine Dupri
- Silk (R&B singer)
- Silk the Shocker
- Milli Vanilli
- Saw 3D
- Highlights Magazine
- Destiny's Child
- The Untouchables
- The Matrix
- Mortal Kombat
- Andre the Giant
- Godzilla
- TLC
- Robert Palmer
- Grace Jones
- Quincy Jones
- Prince William
- Ludacris
- Kesha
- Archie
- Law and Order
- Michael Bay
- Andy Dick
- Duran Duran
- Huey Lewis and the News
- American Psycho
- Back to the Future
- Spagetti-Os
- PBS
- Freddy Mercury
- Ghostbusters II
- Words With Friends
- Katty Perry
- Iggy Azalia
- White Chicks
- Snoop Dogg
- Rock Band
- Lenny Kravitz
- Yor: Hunter From the Future
- Wes Craven
- Wes Craven's New Nightmare
- The Miz
- Maroon 5
- Cops
- Judge Wapner
- Judge Reinhold
- Judge Dredd
- Rocky
- The Expendables
- Stop, Or My Mom Will Shoot
- Ecks vs Sever
- Funkmaster Flash
- Falco (band)
- Men Without Hats
- The Cure
- Winger
- Men At Work
- Motley Crue
- Poison
- Uncle Ray
- Boys To Men
- Cindy Lauper
- I Know Who Killed Me
- Penn and Teller: Smoke and Mirrors
- Showgirls
- Bongo the Gorilla
- Swiss Family Robinson
- Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
- Battlefield Earth
- Twilight
- From Justin to Kelly
- The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
- Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
- Star Trek The Next Generation
- Zardoz
- Xenogears
- Silent Hill
- Avatar: The Last Airbender
- Street Fighter
- P.T.
- Eraserhead
- Guillermo del Toro
- Hideo Kojima
- Metal Gear
- Blade
- The Walking Dead
- Silent Hill: Downpour
- Metal Gear Solid V
- Metal Gear Solid 2
- Pan's Labyrinth
- Turner Classic Movies
- Robert Osbourne
- Jerry McGuire
- Sarah Jessica Parker
- Sega
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- A Nightmare on Elm Street (original)
- A Nightmare on Elm Street (remake)
- Dick Tracy
- Chinese Democracy
- Dropped D
- Leicester City F.C.
- William Regal
- NXT
- Chris Jericho
- Green Bay Packers
- Madden
- The Last Airbender
- Hulk Hogan
- Murder-Set-Pieces
- Gary Glitter
Tiradesverse tropes[]
- Protagonist? - Billie
- Guy Banter - Dice on an astronomical level
- No one will like your character - Billie stares at pictures of lost loves
- Sudden Character Stupidity Syndrome - Walker kills the guy who owes him $100,000
- Unrealistic Real Estate - Dice owns a huge apartment despite just being a club DJ
- Tonal Shift from Hell - An astounding example that occurs in the END CREDITS where, after Dice is murdered and Billie reunites with her estranged mother, we hear the standard sad Mariah Carey song, which then transitions to an upbeat rap song
- Nonsensical Title - As Damien tried repeatedly to determine during the episode...what the hell does this title mean???
- Brick Wall Ending - After her boyfriend gets killed out out of the blue, Billie just happens to know where her mom is and reunites with her
- Five-Second Microcosm - The random guys dancing around Billie. All Billie does this entire movie is stand around while stuff happens around her.
Ending song[]
Talking Heads - Burning Down the House
Before and After[]
Previous episode: Episode 37 - Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation
Next episode: Episode 39 - Santa with Muscles