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Glitter is a 2001 musical/romance/drama film starring Mariah Carey and Max Beesley.

It is notable for helping derail Mariah Carey's then-superstar singing career for several years, as well as for being her first and last attempt at being a top billed fim actress.  Both for good reason...

It is also notable for having a huge list of subplots that should have happened, but didn't.

PlotEdit

Your stock standard "girl with talent has a rough childhood, but grows up to become instantly famous and has a turbulent relationship with a bad boy" story.  Seriously, there is literally nothing more to this movie than that.

Notable charactersEdit

The EpisodeEdit

  • This episode is the second to cover a movie in the Tiradesverse with Da Brat in it
  • It is also the second to cover a romance-genre movie (the first was Twilight)

ScoresEdit

James - Amateur

Damien - Question

HighlightsEdit

  • Damien's ongoing list of "plotlines that didn't happen"
  • Damien shows how deep his knowledge of 80's and 90's pop and R&B music is
  • How the fuck does the Sylk character have a career???
  • Dice seduces Billie with a fucking MARIMBA
  • The "shit button"--the button that takes all the shit out of any song automatically
  • Why would a record exec ever be in a studio?
  • The Yamaha keyboard ruins the Casio Keyboard jokes
  • Child custody laws apparently don't exist in this movie
  • Jim Damien???  WHO IS FUCKING WITH US?!
  • Dice looks douchier than The Miz, Johnny Cage and all of Maroon 5 combined
  • Billie has an immortal cat, apparently
  • Billie and Dice somehow psychically write the same exact song
  • Walker is the worst loan shark ever
  • Damien's Sport Feedback Extravaganza

ReferencesEdit

Tiradesverse tropesEdit

Ending songEdit

Talking Heads - Burning Down the House04:11

Talking Heads - Burning Down the House








Before and AfterEdit

Previous episode: Episode 37 - Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

Next episode: Episode 39 - Santa with Muscles

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