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Bloodrayne is a 2005 action/horror film based off the video game series of the same name, and directed by Uwe Boll.

As well as being the subject of Episode 29, it is one of James' written Tirades, and, when James was still grading movies using a number scale, it was the only one that he ever gave a zero.

PlotEdit

A half-assed trio of vampire-hunters rescue a dhampir so that, together, they can stop the most lethargic vampire in all of fiction.

Notable charactersEdit

The EpisodeEdit

This is the second "Blast from the Past" episode--i.e., an episode covering a movie covered years ago as a written Tirades article. The first was The Last Airbender.

HighlightsEdit

  • "Slitting the Throats of Sheep" - Damien's least favorite Tim Buckley album
  • "Can we please have one smart character in this entire movie?"
  • Welshmanian accent
  • The Vicarious Rape Flashbacks
  • The corpse being hacked into a fine paste
  • Lola Byrne is a distant successor of Rayne
  • Rayne goes to the gas station
  • Rayne drives a Toyota Corolla or a Dodge Dynasty
  • "Do you duel?"
  • An ovary-measuring contest
  • Sebastian is the dumbest character in the entire Tiradesverse
  • "What do you say when you want to bite a girl? HISS KAAAAHHHHH"
  • There were a fuckton of Randy Orton references

ScoresEdit

James - Somnambulism

Damien - Zotz!

ReferencesEdit

Tiradesverse TropesEdit

Ending SongEdit

WWE Randy Orton Theme 2011 "Voices" CD Quality Download Link03:22

WWE Randy Orton Theme 2011 "Voices" CD Quality Download Link








Before and AfterEdit

Previous Episode: Episode 28 - A Talking Cat!?!

Next Episode: Episode 30 - I Know Who Killed Me

External LinksEdit

The Written Review

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