220px-Double dragonposter
Double Dragon is a 1994 action movie based on the video game series of the same name. It holds great significance as it was the subject of the very first of James' written Tirades back in 2007.

Above and beyond the many problems with the movie (horrible acting, terrible script, etc.), the two biggest sins the movie committed? Firstly, it made Alyssa Milano unattractive. Secondly, the people casting this movie apparently thought that Scott Wolf--yes, Party of 5 Scott Wolf--would be a good choice to portray a martial artist.


Two brothers who look absolutely nothing alike team up with a bunch of 80's music video backup dancers to take down the T-1000.


Why does it suck?Edit

  • Seriously, Scott Wolf??? The amount of drugs you would have to be on to think that was a good idea...
  • The Double Dragon medallion grants its wearer the power of 10,000 men. So, Satori puts the damn thing around Scott Wolf's neck. Brilliant...
  • "Game over...UGLY!"
  • "Eat fist, butt-head!"
  • Okay, basically the entire script.


As of Episode 17, James retconned all numeric scores for written Tirades. This one was originally graded an 18/100, but James erased that from the record books and gave it the Final Word, "eighties".

Tiradesverse tropesEdit

External LinksEdit

The Written Review

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