Captain Kirk
is a character in the 2003 Uwe Boll film, House of the Dead. He is played by Jurgen Prochnow. (Yes, the fucking captain from Das Boot.)


  • Not surprised by the existence of reanimated corpses
  • Bitten twice by zombies but never actually turns into one
  • Archnemesis of Casper the Police Ghost
  • Blows himself up in some sort of heroic sacrifice; however, this act backfires horribly and blows the house the protagonists? are hiding in wide open, allowing the zombies to flood in
  • The Ben Kingsley Paycheck of the movie

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