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BellaSwan
Isabella "Bella" Swan is the main protagonist? of the 2008 film, Twilight and its sequels. She is played (but not acted) by Kristen Stewart in all of them, a fact that she regrets constantly.

General FactsEdit

  • Hands down, the single most unlikable protagonist ever seen in cinema
  • Seriously, Optimus Prime and Nomi Malone can't even hold a candle to this whiny, co-dependent, airheaded bitch
  • Is a complete and utter sociopath
  • Just does whatever her hormones tell her to
  • Flat out doesn't care that the guy she is obsessed with is a bloodthirsty killer who repeatedly warns her that he will get her hurt or killed
  • Is obsessed over by every single person in Forks, Washington, even though they couldn't possibly have any idea what she looks like because she hasn't been there since she was four years old

TwilightEdit

  • Gives no fucks about any of her high school friends, who, annoying as they are, are good people who care about her
  • This doesn't stop the movie from halfassedly trying to make us think she cares about them in a throwaway scene of driving near the end of it
  • Nearly gets killed by James Witherdale, but is saved by the Cullens--a crime for which the Cullens will never be forgiven

New MoonEdit

  • Responds to the guy she knew for less than a year leaving by apparently sitting in front of the same window for four months
  • Then joins up with the asshats that tried to rape her in the last movie
  • This results in her becoming a danger slut just to see a phantom Edward who is apparently the manifestation of her self-preservation
  • Tries to rebound with Jacob until he shuts her down
  • Believes that being a werewolf is unnatural but being a vampire is perfectly fine...despite the former being something you're born with while the latter is the result of getting poisoned
  • Starts to try to move onto being obsessed with Jacob until the second one of the Cullens comes back
  • Can fly to Italy with little to no preperation
  • If she weren't enough of a special snowflake, is also immune to all vampire powers
  • Has no problem with being told she's going to become a vampire
  • Barely cares about the tour group that the Volturi chow down on
  • Looks apprehensive about marrying Edward in exchange for becoming a vampire, which makes absolutely no fucking sense because SHE IS GODDAMNED OBSESSED WITH HIM

EclipseEdit

  • When asked by Edward to marry him, says "no" literally only to make sure there can be more movies made--including this one
  • Once again, if they just turned her into a vampire, nothing in this movie would have happened except a vampire fight
  • Has the unmitigated gall to ask Jacob why he hasn't called her
  • Have we mentioned she's a heartless bitch?

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